Joke of the day:Nervous new priest tried a risky remedy to soothe his nerves, but the consequences are hilarious

 


A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.



After the mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”




Next Sunday the new priest decided to take the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning, he felt nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.




Upon returning to his office, he found a note on the door that said :



– Sip on the vodka, don’t gulp.


– There are 10 commandments, not 12.


– There are 12 disciples, not 10.


– Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.


– Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not “bet his ass.”


– We do not refer to Jesus Christ as “the late J.C.”


– We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”


– The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as “daddy, junior and the spook.”


– David slew Goliath, he did not “kick the crap out of him.”



– When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say that he was “stoned off his ass.

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