An English bloke went out duck hunting and a gust of wind blew, his gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in his private parts. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor:
"Sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local, to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the shrapnel."
"What's the bad news?" Asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive shrapnel damage done to your penis which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Well I guess that isn't too bad." The hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly." Answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the London Philharmonic Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eyes!"!